Pranks
by InvisibleJediMaster
Summary: Chapter 11! Fun with markers and Grid's head. Need more be said?
1. Ambush

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Predator, or Alien, or AVP.

First AVP fanfic!!! Don't kill me!!!

Okay, here's the situation for this fanfic.

Scar, Lex, and assorted Aliens (including Grid) are all living on the same floor of an apartment complex. (None of them are sharing rooms. I'm not that evil . . . yet.) That's all you really need to know. On with the fanfic!!!

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Ambush

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Lex and Scar creep up to the door of Grid's apartment. They glance at each other, then open the door and prepare to ambush . . . air. Grid wasn't there. After exchanging another set of confused glances, the pair look around the alien's apartment. They had originally come over to surprise Grid and piss him off for no apparent reason and then watch movies. (He had the best TV and this big squishy couch and practically a million movies.) Since he wasn't present, they took advantage of the unique opportunity for snooping. 

Grid's apartment was unnaturally clean; something the pair hadn't been able to properly appreciate whenever the alien was present. The living room looked like a cleaning maid had just gone through it. The top of the TV wasn't dusty, the cabinet holding DVDs and other assorted items was organized, and the wood flooring was shiny. Lex and Scar went into the kitchen and found it in a similar state. The bathroom looked like something out of a TV commercial.

They were about to investigate the final room in the apartment, the bedroom, when they heard the front door open and shut and heavy footsteps cross a room. Lex jumped on Scar as he activated his cloaking devise and clung to him piggyback style so the cloaking would cover her too. They crept into the kitchen and saw an alien with a familiar crisscrossing of green lines on his head putting brown bags on the kitchen counters. Frozen with surprise and shock, they watched Grid put away groceries.

They regained their powers of physical movement when Grid left the kitchen, finished, and went back into the living room. They crept after him and saw him turn on the TV. When he collapsed into the middle of the couch, Scar crept up behind him with Lex still clinging to his back. If the cloaking device hadn't been active, the sight of a small ooman female clinging to a yautja would have looked beyond ridiculous, but it was and thus looked like nothing at all.

Grid's tail twitched from its curled up position on the couth next to him as Grid changed positions. Scar quickly ducked below the edge of the couch so he wouldn't be seen. When the sounds of motion stopped, Scar looked back over the edge of the couch at the alien. He was lying lengthwise on the couch with his head on the arm at one end and his feet propped up on the arm at the other. His tail hung over the edge of the couch.

Scar and Lex saw their opportunity. Scar crouched down again and Lex got off his back, now visible. She crept toward the end of the couch with Grid's feet and tail and Scar crept to the end with Grid's head. Lex was the first to move. She grabbed the closer of Grid's two feet and pulled, jerking him a few inches closer to her end of the couch, and tackled his tail to the floor before it could impale her. Scar let his cloaking drop and materialized towering above the too-surprised-to-be-pissed-off-yet alien. He pinned Grid to the couch with one arm and pushed Grid's head out of his face and to the side, towards the TV. The pair of ambushers proceeded to poke Grid rapidly and in multiple places (this is how you tickle an alien) while he squirmed, trying to free himself. Then Scar hit a sensitive spot and Grid suddenly grabbed his shoulders and threw the yautja away from him. Scar flew over Lex and hit the wall, landing in a crouch. Grid sat up and crouched on the end of the couch to tower over the insolent ooman sitting on his tail. Lex froze mid-poke and stared up at Grid. Scar leapt back over Lex and tackled the alien as Lex leapt of his tail. The two wrestled briefly, then Scar and Lex allowed Grid to chase them out of his apartment. They fled down the hallway as Grid slammed the door.

"Stupid ooman, stupid yautja, ruining my living room," Grid muttered as he surveyed the damage of the brief battle. There was a big crack in the wall where he had thrown Scar. He began the irritating process of patching it up.

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I need more ideas for this, so unless I get some, I can't continue. If you give me an idea and I use it, you will recieve credit.

Review if you like or if you don't.


	2. Revenge

**Disclaimer:** Do I have to? Fine, I'll say it. I do not own AVP.

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Revenge

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Scar walked into Grid's apartment. He looked at the wall. There was a long patch of hardened clay-like material spread in a roughly vertical line. It was the patch for the damage to the wall from last week's ambush. Grid had obviously not repainted that particular section of wall yet.

Lex, who had arrived earlier, and Grid were sitting on the couch playing video games. Lex looked up when Scar entered. So did Grid, but his attention immediately returned to the TV screen after acknowledging Scar's presence.

"Hey, Lex, when did you get here?"

"About twenty minutes ago," Lex answered while still manipulating the game controller in her hands.

The television announced the end to a race. The two had been racing against each other while waiting for Scar to arrive.

Grid growled in frustration. "How do you keep winning!?"

"That's my secret," Lex taunted back at him.

Grid sighed and looked up at Scar. "Did you get it?"

Scar held up a DVD case. "Fresh off the shelf."

Lex jumped up off the couch. "I'll get snacks!" she announced and ran into the kitchen. Her head appeared in the doorway a moment later. "Grid, where'd you hid the popcorn _this_ time?"

"It's in the far left cabinet," he said without looking back at her.

Scar proceeded to remove the plastic covering and pieces of tape that held the DVD case shut. At least, he tried to. When he was on the verge of just tearing into the aggravating plastics with a high chance of destroying the disk inside, Grid took it from him and used a claw to carefully cut the tape and plastic away and open the unharmed case to reveal the shiny and also-unharmed disk. He put it in the DVD player and set the TV to the right channel. Scar fell into the middle of the couch (_what the hell? it isn't his couch _Grid thought, mildly irritated) and Lex returned with snacks and cups and a bottle of soda (the big kind). After depositing the supplies on the table in front of the couch, she flicked a light switch on the wall and sat next to Scar on the couch. The movie began.

About three quarters of the way through, Grid got paused the movie and got up, taking the three empty glasses and the empty soda bottle into the kitchen. He opened the other soda bottle in the fridge and refilled all three glasses. Then he took a pack of plain white Tic-tacs and poured them all into Scar's drink. This is part of Grid's revenge on Scar. He would have done it to Lex, too, but she had, oddly enough, liked the combination of tic-tacs and soda the last time it was done to her, so he did not. He knew Scar hated tic-tacs with a passion, which is why he chose to do this.

Grid returned to the living room and placed each cup in front of its owner, being careful to give Scar the doctored cup. The movie resumed playing.

Scar ruined the climax of the movie. He had finally taken a sip of his soda and found it tasted disgusting. He started coughing when he regretfully swallowed the foul concoction, mandibles twisting awkwardly in an expression of disgust. Grid started laughing and Lex just looked at the two as if they were crazy.

"What…cough…did you do…cough…?" Scar directed at Grid.

"Tic-tacs," Grid said between hisses of laughter.

Scar recovered, growled, and launched himself at Grid. (How exactly you launch at the person sitting next to you—even if he's technically not a person but an alien—on a couch while sitting down yourself, I'm not sure, but Scar somehow managed.) The two males of differing species proceeded to wrestle on the floor (Scar's lunge had carried them both over the end of the couch). Lex ignored them and proceeded to watch the rest of the movie.

When the movie was over, the two were still tangled on the floor and growling at each other. Lex walked over to them and upended her still-full glass of soda on their heads, then proceeded to clean up the snack table while the two rose, spluttering.

That evening, Grid snuck into Scar's apartment. Scar was currently in Lex's apartment because he needed help to clean the sticky soda off of his dreadlocks. The warrior's apartment was . . . typical . . . and unique at the same time. There were the occasional skull trophies that yautja liked to collect, as well as a few assorted weapons and pieces of armor. The couch and TV weren't anything exciting (no wonder they always came to his apartment).

Grid implemented part two of his revenge on Scar. He went to the cabinet holding Scar's multitude of video games (_he must have a lot of free time_) and "misplaced" them around the apartment, then left.

Grid would have also sought revenge on Lex, but when he tried to sneak into her apartment, she caught him and beat him black and . . . more black. Grid was sent back to his apartment with his tail between his legs, chased by Scar's laughter and Lex's angry gaze.

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I still want ideas, so review or PM or whatever.

Oh, and by the way, (_text_/text) is thoughts.


	3. Whoopee Cushions

This chapter is better than the last one. I think it's a bit longer too. Well, go on! Read it!

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Whoopee Cushions

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Lex fingered Scar's cloaking device as she lurked near Grid's door in the hallway. Grid had tried to sneak into her apartment two days ago and she was currently pondering what to do to him in return

Grid's door swung open and the alien walked out, down the hallway, away from Lex's position. Lex ran to the door and caught the edge before it shut. She slid inside and gently closed the door. She leaned against it for a minute, listening to her own pounding heart and the alien's fading footsteps. Then she ventured deeper into the apartment.

She had already seen most of it, but one room still remained unexplored: Grid's bedroom. She walked quietly and quickly down the hallway and pushed the not-quite-closed door open.

Grid's room was a severe contrast to the rest of his apartment. While every other room was clean and well-kept, this room was horrendous. The bed looked like it was about to collapse and there were slimy spots on the floor. There were scars everywhere in the floor, walls, and even ceiling. A shiver ran up Lex's spine as she shut the door as she walked out, backwards, into the hall.

Lex returned to the main room. She remembered what Grid had done to Scar and that gave her an idea. She went over to the DVD cabinet and took out a whole stack. But she didn't want to just _hide_ them. Over the course of twenty minutes, she removed every single disk and put them all in the wrong boxes. Then she put all of the cases back on the shelf all mixed up. (Grid _alphabetized_ his DVDs. Who the hell _alphabetizes_ their DVDs?) Just because she could, she took a few and hid them in the kitchen.

But she wanted to do something else. She sat on the couch and thought about it for a minute. The couch was kind of bouncy, so she kind of bobbed up and down as she sat there. This, for some reason, led her to another idea. She invisibly fled the apartment and ran down the stairs to the bottom floor (Grid's apartment, like hers and Scar's, was only on the second floor) and out the door.

Approximately fifteen minutes later she returned to Grid's apartment panting and out of breath. He was still gone, but he would be returning any minute, so Lex hurried to put the rest of her revenge in place. She barely finished in time. Just as her hand was withdrawing from under the couch cushion, the doorknob turned. Thankful that she had taken Scar's cloaking device beforehand, she snuck out past Grid, but held the door open just a crack to hear his reaction to her "booby trap".

Inside the apartment, Grid promptly collapsed onto the couch. The loud, disgusting, disturbing, obnoxious noise of multiple whoopee cushions being squished all at once exploded into the air. The alien roared briefly in surprise and jumped up immediately off the couch and stabbed it with his tail on reflex.

Outside, Lex nearly collapsed from laughter and surprise at how loud the six whoopee cushions (two under each couch cushion) had been. She found it exceedingly difficult to stay silent.

Inside, Grid was having difficulty removing the end of his tail from where it had buried itself in the couch cushion. Out of irritation, he lifted up the whole thing and found that his tail was stuck in a round, reddish, rubbery object, one of two that had been under the cushion. He pried it off and pulled his tail out, then picked up the second object. When he checked, he found four more under the other cushions.

Outside, Lex crept away as the sounds of whoopee cushions being shredded filled the air. Back and safe in her apartment, she collapsed into laughter on her own couch.

As pieces of rubber and foam floated down, Grid looked at the damage he had done to his nice couch. He growled at it and then turned to his DVD cabinet. He would watch one of his favorite movies to calm down before any more furniture was damaged.

But…it wasn't there. As he searched, he realized all his DVDs had been placed out of order. He growled at the offending movie library and finally found the DVD he was looking for. He didn't notice until after he had put the disk in that it wasn't the movie advertised on the box it had been in. When he did, he double checked and found that the wrong disk was in the wrong box. After searching, he found the correct box for the disk. But there was already a disk inside, from yet another movie. After checking more boxes, he roared in fury and proceeded to perform the painstaking process of putting everything back where it belonged.

Scar came into Lex's apartment to get his cloaking devise, which he had finally discovered missing, back from the ooman. Oddly, there were tear streaks down her face and she was breathing hard, but didn't seem to be upset as there was a huge grin plastered to her face.

"What…?"

Suddenly Grid's roar of fury echoed down the halls and into the apartment. Scar flinched. Grid must be really pissed off. Then he realized that Lex had collapsed from her already weak upright position on the couch and was laughing without restraint.

"Crazy oomans," he muttered to himself as he left. He would get his cloaking device back later when Lex had calmed down enough to be coherent for extended periods of time.


	4. Period

The topic of this chapter was suggested by wolf guardian of light. Hope you like it!

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Period

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Grid ambushed Scar in his apartment and tackled him to the floor. (Grid's DVDs had been messed up and mismatched and a few were still missing. Since he had done something similar to Scar, he assumed it had been the yautja getting revenge.) Scar, who had just taken off his face mask to relax and play some games, was caught completely unaware by the alien. They rolled on the floor and crashed into the wall.

"Hey! What'd I do?" Scar yelled at Grid once he recognized him.

"This is revenge for messing up my DVDs! I haven't even found them all yet! Where'd you hide them?" Grid roared.

"DVDs? What are you talking about?" Scar threw Grid off him and into a wall. "I haven't done anything to your DVDs!"

"Yes you did!" Grid lunged at Scar again but missed. "And you put those obnoxious noise bags under my couch cushions! I ruined one of them because of you!"

"Noise bags?" Scar avoided Grid as he lunged again. "That was Lex. She booby trapped your apartment."

"Lex?" Grid suddenly stopped his attack. "She must have messed up my DVDs, too!" Grid moved to leave the apartment.

"Hey, wait." Scar grabbed the alien's arm, who promptly spun around and growled. "Let me help. She's been extra bitchy lately and hasn't given my cloaking device back yet."

The two male members of differing species grinned at each other.

Meanwhile, Lex was doubled up and growling at her abdomen. "God (insert assorted swear words of your choice here) why!?" She hissed. "I'd rather take the (beep) face huggers than these (beep) cramps!" (Add in a few more beeps just because.)Outside Lex's door, the alien and yautja were talking. 

Grid: "Understand?"

Scar: "Yes, yes, I understand. You've gone over this plan five times already! You don't need to do so again!"

Grid: "Good. Let's go then."

The two move towards the door and Grid reaches to open it.

Inside, Lex relaxed. The cramp was finally over, leaving a much more pleasant throbbing of pain behind. Those pills were finally working. She had been tempted to drink something alcoholic, but resisted because all the doctors said it was an exceedingly bad idea. Besides, if she killed herself she wouldn't get to see the collateral damage that had resulted from her prank on Grid earlier. 

Grid pushed open the door.

Lex saw the familiar alien head come through her doorway. She was still in an excessively bad mood today (partially because of the medication she had taken) and decided to vent her fury on Grid.

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Poor Grid and Scar. I could sensor the following violence and spare them some dignity... Should I?

Nah! Bring on the violence! Bring on the loss of dignity!

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The ooman lunged at Grid's head and started attacking him. Scar had been right, but he had no idea just how right. The alien fell into Lex's apartment and tried to escape. For a moment, he did. But that was only because a new victim had entered to room.

The instant Scar set foot in Lex's apartment, he was tackled to the ground. Almost immediately after that he was kicked in his manliness and thrown right back out where he crumpled at the base of the wall in the fetal position with his hands over his wounded manliness.

Grid winced when he saw what Lex did to Scar and then tried to scramble away when she turned back to him.

No such luck. Lex grabbed him by the tail and dragged him a short distance, then threw him out and slammed the door after him.

Grid hit the wall and landed on the curled up Scar. Scar limped back to Grid's apartment—with Grid's help of course—and the two nursed their wounds, both physical and ego-related.

"Man, who knew. That ooman is worse than a queen out for revenge."

"More like a yautja female with the strength and experience of an elder. Holy (beep)! I'll never bother her again."

"What's wrong with her?"

"No idea."

Meanwhile, Lex was curled up again as a vicious cramp was triggered by her exertions. (Insert more colorful swearing of your choice.)

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See, I do take suggestions and give credit to those who give the suggestions. So review! 


	5. Mentos and Diet Soda

Sorry it took so long. I couldn't decide who to pick on for this chapter. That problem was resolved when Grid paid me a _visit_—i.e. delivered an ultimatum demanding me to stop wrecking his apartment.

The topic for today's prank was suggested by MysticalStar1.

What are you waiting for? Go read!

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Mentos and Diet Soda

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The end of Grid's tail twitched back and forth in a motion reminiscent of a common Earth animal—what was it called? a cat?—and showed that he was pleased.

The kainde amedha had been watching TV earlier, flipping through channels until he came across something interesting. Said something interesting was an episode of the popular American TV show "Mythbusters". During the episode, the two main characters had been doing what appeared to be a very messy experiment. It was this that Grid was currently copying for his own ends.

Grid finished the small rig that was attached to the top of a small bottle of soda and examined it to make sure there were no mistakes. It was a simple piece of PVC with four holes poked through, spaced equal distances below the top and arranged like the points of a compass. Two toothpicks went through the two holes to form a cross inside the opening above the soda. Sitting on the toothpicks were two round white candies.

Grid placed the whole thing carefully in the sink, walked what he assumed would be a safe distance away, and pulled the strings attached to the toothpicks. The toothpicks disappeared from inside the PVC and the white candies, their support gone, fell into the soda. At first, nothing happened. But the wait was not long, for soon there was a fountain of fizz erupting from within the plastic.

The results of the experiment were quite satisfying, but the rig on the top of the soda bottle was not covert, thus nullifying the purpose. So, as he cleaned the sticky froth that had not landed in the sink—instead coating the counter, splashing the window and cabinets, and reaching even some of the floor—he planned on how to make a less overt trap.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door of Lex's apartment. Lex rose from the couch and went to the door. When she opened it, she found the conspicuously marked kainde amedha on the other side.

"Hi Grid." She saw he held a plastic bag with several things inside. "What's that?"

Grid proffered the bag that held assorted sodas. "These are for you. I wanted to apologize for last week."

Lex took it and looked inside. "So you got me soda?"

"Well, yes."

Lex shrugged. "You want to come in?"

"Well…" Grid was torn. He wanted to see, but he also didn't want to be present.

"It's alright, I'm not busy if that's what you're worried about."

"If you insist." Grid stepped inside, deciding that the ooman would know it was him whether he was present or not and that he should see what occurred first hand.

Lex set out the soda on her table. There was grape, orange, 7up, mountain dew, coke, and cherry, all of them in the small single-serving plastic bottles. Oddly, all of them were diet.

There was another knock on the door. This time Scar was on the other side. Lex immediately brightened.

"Hi Scar!"

The hulking yautja warrior nodded in silent greeting and stepped inside. Lex shut the door and Scar held his hand up. Coiled up in his palm was a thin white cord.

"What's this?" Lex picked it up because Scar was obviously offering it to her.

"For my intrusion last week. It is a necklace for you."

Lex held it up. It glittered oddly in the light and had a bizarre texture. When she peered closer, she saw that it was made of the vertebrae of small animals such as mice strung end to end. There was a small carved bone clasp which she found and undid.

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Aw, how sweet!

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Lex lifted up her hair and put it on. "Thank you, Scar."

Scar clicked his mandibles together, happy that Lex had accepted his gift of reparation.

Lex motioned toward the couch and the black creature standing next to it. "Grid brought over some soda. Would you like some?" The pair went to the couch and sat down. Grid followed, sitting last. The trio was rather uncomfortable because the couch was on the small side, but it was satisfactory.

Lex reached for the orange soda. "Go ahead, you have one too!" The grape was given to Scar and the coke to Grid.

Since it was a habit of theirs to open their sodas all at once—when they had individual sodas—Lex began the countdown. "On three! One…" She and Scar got firm grips on the caps of their sodas. Thankfully for Grid, they did not notice that the seals had already been broken. "Two…" They got ready to twist off the caps with a single motion and Grid unenthusiastically prepared. "One…" Everything was slow motion. "Now!" Three soda caps were spun violently and went flying off the tops of the soda bottles.

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, as the diet soda contacted the surface of the Mentos candies that had been suspended with plastic wrap under the lids, the three drinks fizzed ominously. Before the ooman and yautja could glare accusingly at the kainde amedha, orange, purple, and brown fizz fountained energetically from inside respective containers, drenching all three and dousing the couch. Good thing the floor was wood. That could be cleaned later.

For a moment, no one moved.

Lex and Scar each snatched one of the remaining two bottles of soda as Grid leapt off the couch and toward the door. They unscrewed caps as the doorknob was turned.

Self-insert! Because I feel like being a bystander.

I walked down the second floor hallway with my small ice bucket filled. I had had to got to the one two floors below because the one on the fourth floor was out of order. As I walked down the hall, the door I was passing slammed open and a black alien creature with green grid marks on the surface of its elongated head ran out. In close pursuit were a woman and a strange-looking man holding small bottles of soda like weapons. Said bottles of soda were spewing forth streams of foam which rocketed forward to the alien to coat its shiny black hide. Some landed on me as the pair ran out the door.

Lex and Scar stopped just outside the door because that's when their soda fountains lost energy. They allowed Grid to escape down the hall. They noticed a rather soggy looking person who had been caught in the crossfire. Spots of cherry soda were on her glasses and shirt, intermixed with the clear, but still sticky, spots of 7up. Some of the soda had landed in the ice bucket she held, and the long brown hair, some of which was now in dark clumps.

I stared at the pair for a moment, and they stared back. They were drenched just like the alien that had been chased out of the apartment.

"Sorry," the woman said, and the two went back into their apartment and shut the door, leaving a shiny puddle of soda in the hall that would soon dry and become sticky.

I returned to my apartment, cleaned off the ice, and took a shower, leaving my clothes in a sink full of water because I was too lazy to put them in the washing machine but not so lazy as to leave them lying about to dry and become harder to clean.

Two floors below, Grid and Scar were doing similar things, while Lex began to clean her apartment. Lex hoped Scar wouldn't take too long because she wanted a hot shower too. Scar's water heater was still broken, and he had used up nearly all of Lex's hot water last time.

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Another chapter, another prank, more collateral damage!

Review and give suggestions! If you ask nice, you might even get an insert of your choice!


	6. Fan Girls

Undrappreciatedsib helped me with this idea. Let the wackiness ensue!

Oh, and this is a double chapee. Feel honored.

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Fan Girls (part 1)

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Scar was quite proud of himself for this idea.

"And it's at the park?" Grid asked as they walked down the street.

"Yes, Grid. In the east field."

A TV show that Scar couldn't remember the name of had given him the idea. On the show, people pull pranks on other people to piss them off and then give them money if they pass a time limit.

The odd pair reached the park gates. People would have commented on just how odd if they hadn't been too scared to come near the deadly beings.

"If you say so," Grid walked through the gates. The Alien looked back at the Predator one last time, but Scar had disappeared. Grid wound his way to the east field, avoiding groups of people as he went.

Scar quickly came to the predetermined location and climbed into a tree that would provide the perfect view of what was to come. Then he set up the video camera and gazed down at the one young teenage woman as he waited.

Grid came through the trees and arrived at the east field, a small field at the back of the park that should be called a meadow and not a field because of the lack of area. There was a lone woman in the field standing near the end of the path Grid had used to reach the east field.

Grid only had enough time to think, _This isn't the eating competition_ before the stranger leapt at him with the signature scream of a fan girl.

Sitting in his tree, Scar snickered as the camera recorded the scene before him.

"Scar, you bastard!" Grid screamed in fury when he realized that he had been set up.

"Oh my God, you came, you came, you came!" the mysterious fan girl squealed in excitement.

Grid peeled her off himself and let her hang from the steely grasp of one hand. He lowered his jaws near her face and hissed menacingly at her.

That only made her more excited. "OH MY GOD, this is AWESOME!!!!!" She squealed in happiness again as she hung there.

_WTF?_ was what crossed the xenomorph's mind. He dropped the bizarre human on the ground and turned to leave, but she clamped onto his tail. He hissed at her again and tried to shake her off but failed. So he pried her off once more and flung her a short distance. The obsessed fan girl was up in a moment and she chased the object of her obsession around the clearing.

Scar watched the two do laps around the east field, adjusting the camera when necessary, and tried to stay silent and undetected.

Eventually Grid realized that he was in a park and that parks had trees which provide excellent cover. As this dawned on him, he streaked into the trees and finally lost the creepy human.

Scar turned off the camera and crept away, quietly clicking to himself in amusement.

Grid confronted him later.

"What the hell, Scar?"

"Do you have any idea how long it took to clean the soda off of my awu'asa? It took hours!" Scar slammed the door of his apartment in the fuming xenomorph's face.

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Fan Girls (part 2)

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Grid sat on the roof of the building across the street. He was hidden and had a good view of the location where his revenge on Scar would take place. Speaking of Scar, the Predator himself has arrived!

Scar walked up to the door corresponding to the address on the piece of paper that Grid had given him. "Funny, this doesn't look like a weapons shop…" He knocked on the door. He heard running feet on the other side and a female voice called out a greeting.

"Hello?" she said as she opened the door to see who was there. And promptly let out a fan girl scream. The two girls that had followed her out into the hallway gave squeals of surprise and happiness.

Grid laughed to himself as the large yautja was dragged inside the building by three small human females.

To his astonishment, Scar was dragged inside what quickly turned out to be an ooman residence. Once inside, he was ambushed by several females.

"Oh my God, Scar, it's really you!"

_Why do they know my name?_ Scar asked himself. He caught glimpses of his surroundings. There were little figurines of yautja and posters of yautja and other assorted things. With a gasp of horror he realized that all of the oomans were fan girls and that Grid had set him up.

Grid could not contain his laughter when Scar suddenly fled the building, breaking the front door in the process.

"No, wait! Come back!" The fan girls streamed out of the building after him.

Scar activated his cloak and tore down an alley. After scaling the fire escape of an old building and hiding on the roof, he lost the obsessed ooman females and snuck back to his apartment.

Below, the fan girls heard Grid's laughter and saw the alien. They went back into their house to retrieve what appeared to be plasma casters and then left again, spreading out in different directions.

Grid watched in confusion. _What are they doing now?_

He found out approximately 1.5 minutes later. The fan girls ambushed the xenomorph on the roof. Grid fled the scene as he was pelted with paintballs from the plasma caster models.

Scar opened his apartment door when he heard Grid return. To his amazement, the alien was covered in multi-colored patches of paint. The insults he had been planning to throw at the black creature instantly left his mind. Whatever had happened to Grid, the results were much more gratifying than what Scar had planned.

Grid pointedly ignored the Predator as he passed the open door and the tall figure standing there.

A few days later, Grid discovered the recording of his encounter with the Alien fan girl which Scar had submitted on You-Tube.

Yes, Scar got a quite satisfying revenge.

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A prank involving fan girls was inevitable.

Thanks to everyone who has submitted suggestions so far! This fanfic would not be able to continue if it weren't for you!


	7. Paintball

This is just an idea that I had today. It isn't really a prank, but it sounded fun, so I typed it up.

Self insert with a friend. You've been warned.

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Paintball

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I got out of my car and shut the door. My friend Allison got out of the passenger side as I went around to the back and popped the trunk.

"So, Sky," she said as she joined me, "what colors did you bring this time?"

I removed two backpacks from the trunk and unzipped one to make sure of its contents. I handed the other one to Allison, who promptly looked inside.

"Green for me and orange for you." I zipped up my backpack again and slipped it on over my shoulders. "Ready?"

Allison did the same. "Let's go!"

We walked across the dirt parking lot and through a fence gate to a small shed that had been freshly painted. It was about the size of a snack shack but held entirely different contents. The man inside greeted us without actually looking closely at his customers.

"So, ladies, training session?"

"Shut up, Jim," I snapped at him. I didn't want to deal with his flirtatious attitude today, though I was tempted to mess with him and then watch him squirm when he realized who I was. "What's open today?"

He blinked and actually looked at me. "Oh, it's _you_. Why didn't you say anything?" He looked at a piece of paper tacked up inside the shed. "We have a small group waiting out back. Free-for-all. Want to join them?"

"Sure."

"Thirty dollars for the two of you. Sign here." A clip board was provided through the window. I signed it and then moved to the side so Allison could sign it as well. "You know the drill. Gear up and go out to the field four."

We moved to another area with a roof that held lockers. We removed our backpacks and donned masks and hard plastic armor that protected soft and/or vital areas of our bodies. Like our necks.

"Haven't been to field four in a while," Allison said.

"I like it. Lots of trees and cover."

"You're small. There's plenty of cover for you."

I was a mere five foot one and thin as a twig. "Yeah, yeah. Ready?"

We loaded our guns with their florescent ammo. "Let's go see our opponents," Allison said as I crammed the two now-empty backpacks into a locker.

I propped my gun on my shoulder and followed Allison to the small clearing used for briefing otherwise known as field four.

"Whoa, big guy," Allison said and came to a sudden stop.

I walked into her back and then looked around her. It was them. The people who lived in the same apartment complex that I did. The ones that had sprayed me with soda that one day.

I grinned malevolently. "Revenge is sweet."

Scar and Lex were talking, waiting for the all clear to start their paintball match. She had blue ammo and Scar had yellow. Grid was fiddling with his gun. He has never actually held a gun and was trying to figure out how to hold it properly. His ammo was red. Lex glanced over and noticed the problem.

"No, Grid, like this." She showed him how to hold the paintball gun properly and not upside down. "I'm still surprised that they let you in here…" she commented to herself.

Grid fired a few test shots at the wooden target specially constructed for that purpose—to check whether or not your weapon was working properly. It was splattered with many different colors of paint and the original rings of the target could no longer be seen.

Two more people walked around the corner. Both were women, one of average height and the other short. They both wore equipment and held their guns as if they were familiar with them. Which they were. The shorter one had her gun propped up on her shoulder. It made her look extraordinarily cocky.

Scar and the short one looked at each other from behind masks and the one of average height stared at Grid.

Confrontation was averted when a young man, a different one than from the booth, walked onto the field. "You have two hours. This session is a free-for-all. A bell will sound when the session is over and you must return here. The winner will be whoever is hit the least. You will have five minutes to take your positions within the grounds. Begin when the bell sounds." With that, he left the field.

Scar and the small woman immediately fled into the trees. Her companion said, "Good hunting," to Lex before also disappearing into the trees.

"Go hide, Grid," Lex told the alien as she ran off as well.

Grid abandoned the open area and all was quiet.

I went straight to the large bushes at the edge of the tall grass. I ducked down and hit inside them and waited for the bell to sound. Something told her that the large armored being was the one to watch out for.

Scar activated his cloak and quickly climbed up a tree. Once there he held very still so he would not be detected.

Grid got behind some rocks and Allison and Lex found some of the constructed wood barriers to hide behind.

The bell sounded and I scanned the area. I would wait until someone came close to my location and then execute a surprise attack. I didn't have to wait long. Grid, the xenomorph, ran through the trees. There was an orange spot of paint on him. Alison got him. She also ran across my range of vision, but she was being much more covert about it. I never saw the big guy, but the woman followed Allison and Grid slowly, trying for an ambush. I waited until her back was turned to me and then snuck out of my bush quietly and fired off two shots. Before she could turn all the way around and see her attacker, I was hiding behind a tree.

Lex jumped in surprise and quickly turned around when two paintballs hit her, one in the leg and the other in the lower back. No one was there. The paint was green. Neither of her companions had green paint and the curly-haired stranger had orange ammunition. It must have been the shorter one. Lex quickly hid.

I moved around, searching for the big, tall guy. He seemed familiar, like I had seen him somewhere before and suddenly remembered from where. I had read the AVP movie novelization and only now recognized the yautja and xenomorph. I swore at myself, careful not to speak aloud to give away my location. The xeno wasn't anything I needed to worry about, but the Predator was. I remembered their cloaking and quickly scrambled up a tree and scanned other trees. Where was he? I couldn't see any telltale haze, but that was something that only happened when they moved. When they were still, they were the next best thing to invisible.

Scar looked around. He had seen everyone but the small ooman female. Lex had made him promise to not use his infrared scanner, so he could not locate her that way. He dropped down from his tree and began to hunt.

I was still scanning the trees when a flicker of movement caught my attention. I looked down towards the bushes where I had first hid and saw nothing. Wait, there was a haze. I leveled my gun and took aim.

Some sense told Scar that he had been spotted and he turned around and saw the small ooman up in a tree. She was aiming for him. Before Scar could fire, she fired.

I watched the haze and located its head. I fired once and dropped from the tree. As I landed, I heard the smack of my paintball hitting the Predator and his irritated growling. I fled into the tall grass at a crouch and ducked down into a particularly dense clump.

Green paint splattered onto Scar's mask and covered one eye. He growled and followed the female into the tall grass but could not find her.

I froze as I listened to the yautja's steps draw close and then far again. I risked a peek, saw that his back was to me, and crept backwards, back into the trees. Since I couldn't resist, even though my instincts were screaming that it was a really bad idea, I shot him again, this time in the shoulder. He spun around and ran after me as I fled among the trees.

After running around obstacles and diving under bushes, I was confident that I had lost pursuit. Until a twig snapped behind me. I turned slowly, afraid of what I would see. It was the haze of the Predator's cloak. That flickered off and I clearly saw the muzzle of the paintball gun just inches from my face. He fired as I jerked backwards and yellow splattered across the bottom half of my mask. I jumped over the barrier that I had been hiding behind and fled, covering my retreat with paint-filled spheres and zigzagging to make a difficult target.

For a while I lost him. In the mean time, I shot the alien on the side of the head, the back, and the chest, contributing my own ammo to the decorations he already bore. I also shot Allison in the back because she wasn't watching the area behind her. After that the Predator found me again and shot me between the shoulders once before I was off again.

Neither of us managed to hit each other again, but we did interrupt a standoff between Grid, Allison, and Lex by running through a gap in the trees off to the side. They tried to shoot us but we were gone too soon.

The ending bell rang. When I reached field four, Lex, Grid, and Allison were already there. Allison waved me over.

"Hey Sky! How'd you do?" She took note of the yellow paint on my mask. "Whoa, you got nailed in the face! Who did that?"

"Him." I pointed to Scar who emerged a few meters away from me. I looked at the green paint on his mask with pride. "But I got him first." The smile was audible in my tone. "I hit his shoulder too, and he nailed me in the back." I walked up to Allison. "Sneaky bastard was using his cloaking device. Had to play by ear."

Allison walked around me and saw the second spot of yellow paint on my back. "You only got hit twice?"

"Yep! So, how'd you do?"

"I hit the xeno a few times and got her once," she pointed at Lex.

"Grid was a rather conspicuous target, wasn't he?"

Allison laughed. "Yes, he was. He did get me once, though." She pointed to a red spot on her leg.

We both looked at Grid. He was splattered with four different colors of paint. He must have been hit at least twenty times.

"How many times were you hit?" I asked my friend. "Um, seven, I think."

Lex had been hit about the same number of times.

Scar walked up to me and I turned to face him. I had to look up because he was almost a yard taller than me. He put his hand on my shoulder and shook it. A greeting.

"You too," I said because I was too short to return the gesture. He understood, thankfully, that I wasn't trying to insult him.

"You are a good hunter," he said.

"So are you."

The young man from before appeared. "So, how'd it go?" He saw Grid and whistled. "So, Sky, how many hits did you score?"

"Nine."

"Only nine?" He drew his gaze away from the xenomorph to look at me. "Oh, hey, look at that. Who got you?"

I pointed. "We hit each other twice each," I said. "So we tie."

"Wow. You got each other in the face. Don't see that every day."

"Today was the most challenging it's been in a while," I said. "It was great." I took off my mask to breath cool air.

Lex recognized Sky as the woman they had sprayed with soda the day of the Mentos incident. "It's you!" she exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah…" We stared at each other for a minute. Then I said, "So, how long did it take to clean up the soda?"

* * *

Be mad at me if you want. I liked this particular idea of a paintball fight even if it isn't a prank. It was still fun.

Review and give me ideas!!!


	8. Fireworks

Alright, I had a really hard time with this one. First I had writer's block, which went away pretty quickly. Two more obstacles appeared—my desire to not torture Grid (I saw Alien Resurrection, can you really blame me?) and the fact that I changed this chapter's topic about five times. Add another bout of writer's block to that.

Well, it's here now, so go ahead and read. Don't forget to review!

In honor of flag day! (I know it's late. Deal with it.)

* * *

Fireworks

* * *

Scar watched as Lex dug through old boxes of stuff in search of who-knows-what.

As Lex opened up a new box, he became curious enough to ask about it.

"These are fireworks, not what I'm looking for." She shoved it aside and opened what must have been the tenth box.

"Fireworks?"

"You light them and they fire off colored sparks and make noise," Lex explained briefly.

Scar picked up a small one and used the scanner in his mask. Mostly it was made up of cardboard, but there was also a canister in the center filled with explosive compounds. It was divided up into segments, and each pocket—containing similar-but-different compounds—was connected by a fuse, the end of which was poking from the top.

Lex finally noticed Scar's curiosity. "Oh, fine," she sighed. "Come on." She snatched the firework from Scar and led the way out of the apartment.

About thirty minutes drive later, they reached the abandoned gravel pit. Lex parked in an obscure spot and made her way down the side of the pit to the next ledge below. She positioned the firework on the ground and then sat down herself to watch the light from the sun die.

"Now what?" Scar asked. Impatient yautja.

"Now we wait for darkness," Lex said.

Scar looked at her for a minute, looked at the sky for a minute, then looked at nothing in particular as night took over.

When Lex was satisfied with the lack of light, she dug in her pockets and found the lighter she had brought with her. She ignited the fuse and then dragged the large Predator back a few meters. The flickering spark that was the lit end of the fuse disappeared inside the firework and, for a moment, everything was still. Then the display began.

There was a thirty-second assortment of multi-colored sparks and whistles that, if they had been extended, would have threatened to overload his mask. The thought, _'A kainde amedha would have hated that,'_ crept into his head.

Lex pushed over the spent firework with her foot and picked it up gingerly by the base. (Those things get really hot, really quickly.) "Back to the car," she said.

Though it couldn't bee seen—he was wearing his mask after all—the evilly grinning Predator led his Ooman friend back to her car.

Later that night, the box of fireworks mysteriously disappeared from Lex's pile of boxes. Oddly, she never noticed.

Three days later, Scar led Grid to sensatory doom (though Grid didn't know it was Scar).

Invisible under cloak and within the night shadows, Scar lit the omni-fuse.

An odd flickering captured Grid's attention. It was a small spark of heat. He watched it's progress like a cat watching a fly. It split up into several little sparks and spread out in what quickly appeared as a circle around him. After that, two small, high-heat objects appeared in front of him and one behind. His temperature awareness of everything else faded in contrast. And then the whistling, that shrill, irregular, so-loud-it-was-painful sound. The small bright heat signatures moved and the torture continued.

Even when it was over, it wasn't over. Especially vivid ghosts of light and noise continued to haunt the poor deadly being for long afterwards.

The total of twelve fireworks went off three at a time. The active ones were always positioned to surround the xenomorph so he could not flee.

Ten torturous minutes later, Scar cleaned up all the dead fireworks and blew away the ashes left by the fuses, unnoticed by the twitching black alien whose senses had been thoroughly overwhelmed.

Grid spent two days in a zombie-like state in his apartment recovering. He didn't remember returning, but he did remember several bright heat signatures and lots of sound. What had happened? He couldn't find any evidence when he returned to the place of auditory/infrared torture. If he ever found who did this to him…

Scar, safe in his apartment (is he really safe?), twitched and momentarily froze when the scariest roar he had ever heard from a kainde amedha spread through the apartment complex. It was loud enough for echoes to reach neighboring buildings. A sliver of regret and worry about the future crept into the yautja's mind.


	9. Moving Day

I'm baaack!!!!! Enjoy my destruction. (bows the reader in)

* * *

Moving Day

* * *

The prank war had quieted down after Scar's rather harsh punishment of Grid. There had been almost two weeks of normalcy. Well, considering that there was a xenomorph and a yautja living in close proximity of each other. And that the landowner allowed it. 

So it was a normal day when Scar returned to his apartment to find it in every state of disorder imaginable all combined together at once. It was like a bomb had been set off with an excess of shrapnel. The front room was rubble. Walls and the ceiling had chunks of plaster missing and great huge cracks. (For some unknown reason, the floor of the room above hadn't collapsed yet.) All of Scar's decorations (skulls and weapons, of course—he was a yautja) were scattered about, coated in dust, buried under debris, and, where possible, broken into pieces. Joining the mess was broken furniture and what might have once been a television (it now looked like Swiss cheese)—all of course covered in plaster dust.

There was a ghost of a path, so Scar carefully made his way through to check the other rooms and see what was salvageable.

All the other rooms were in similar states of unparalleled disarray, though the kitchen and bathroom were particularly bad. In the kitchen, a majority of the unrecognizable mass was damp (the water wasn't running anymore because all the pipes had been clogged). The bathroom had an inch of water on the floor from broken pipes. It was still rising because the emergency drain in the floor was partially blocked.

In shock, Scar returned to the main room and did a 360, obviously still not fully realizing that the destruction had happened.

Eventually his mind caught up with reality and realization dawned.

'It was Grid. He found out somehow.' That was as far as he could get because he was still reeling.

"Hey, Scar, you home? Your door is open," a familiar voice called from out in the hall. A moment later, Lex walked in. And she stopped dead. She reached the same conclusion Scar had, but much faster. "Wow, you really pissed off Grid. It didn't think it was possible to make him that mad." She looked around, taking in the damage. Her next statement was, "Is this structurally stable?"

One hour later, Scar was sitting on Lex's couch, everything he could salvage laid out on her coffee table. That consisted of a few daggers, one ceremonial, and the stubby, mushroom-shaped horns of some strange animal.

He wasn't leaving anytime soon.

* * *

That's a gift to ScarXLex lovers! (I told you it was coming.) 

I know it was short, but you can't make much of a prank out of a xenomorph blind with rage.


	10. New Day, New Prank, New Tenant

New Day, New Prank (New Tenant)

* * *

I was walking into the apartment building when someone called for my attention. "Excuse me!"

I turned. "Yes?" The woman looked disheveled, like she'd been in a fight or something.

"Is this the Adams apartment complex?"

"Yes…" There was no sign and resembled the other buildings around it.

"I'm moving in here."

"Really? Well, hi. I'm Sky."

"Ripley."

"Want me to show you around?"

"If you're not busy." We walked inside. "Why do you have a gun?"

"Oh, this?" I moved my paintball gun to hold it in front of me. "I do paintball often."

I opened a door down the first floor hallway and into the landlord's office. "Mr. Adams!" I called out loudly because he was not at his desk and probably in his back room instead. "New tenant!" I turned to Ripley. "Want me to wait outside while you get your apartment?"

"Sure."

I walked out. Ripley walked out a few minutes later. Her information hadn't taken long to process because she was the only one who had actually moved in recently (or was planning to). If you live in the neighborhood for a long enough period of time, you hear things about this place. Why few people live here for one. And why no one lives on the second floor. The woman was obviously from out of town.

"So, where's your apartment?"

"216."

"Alright." _I wonder how long it will take for her to move. Not that I don't like her or anything, but the only human living there is Lex. Everyone else living on that floor moved away because of Scar and Grid._

I Ripley around the bottom floor: there was a lounge room with two vending machines, one for snacks and one for sodas and water.

"There are ice machines on floors two, four, and six, at the end of the hallway. Your apartment should be at the end as well. If you ever want to talk, or maybe play paintball, I'm up at 407. Nice meeting you, Ripley." I smiled at her as she got off the elevator at the second floor.

I got off at the third floor and doubled back down the stairs to reach Lex's room.

Lex heard knocking on her door. _Who could that be? Scar's the only one who ever knocks, but he's here._ She glanced at him on the couch. He was looking at the door. Lex opened it.

It was that woman from the fourth floor, Sky. "Someone new moved in, so try to keep Scar and Grid from destroying anything for a while."

"What floor?" Lex managed to get in before Sky ran back down the hallway.

"This one." And she was gone.

Lex looked at Scar. He arranged him mandibles in an expression Lex learned to mean, "What? I'll be good."

"I'll be back in a few minutes."

Lex went to Grid's apartment. She opened the door and leaned in to look at the alien lying on his new couch (which happened to be a rather strange shade of green). "Someone new moved in, so try not to destroy anything." Lex promptly returned to her own apartment.

Ripley looked around hesitantly. She had a strange feeling that something was here. Maybe she was just paranoid, what with four disastrous xenomorph-related events in her past. She missed her annoying cat, suddenly.

Ripley didn't have much with her, so she got settled in rather quickly and turned on the TV.

Grid had been rather bored lately, so he was busy planning another prank to pull on Lex or Scar. Or both of them. He'd overheard Lex talking about candy the other day and Scar—well, you'll see.

He walked out quietly, hissing to himself in laughter.

Ripley heard a terrifyingly familiar noise and ran to her door to see if it was just her imagination. Apparently it was, because there were no lurking xenomorphs in the hallway. Her chest panged with the memory of pain as she returned to her couch and the TV.

Lex and Scar went out to buy paintball equipment. When they came back, they found their apartment…altered. Lex was extremely displeased. Peeps had been thrown everywhere and they were stuck on random surfaces like the table, walls, ceiling, ceiling fan, couch, Scar's weapons… He wasn't happy about that. He was even less pleased to find out that all the food had been replaced with every kind of chocolate imaginable. While Lex was only irritated that all her normal food was gone, Scar was horrified. He _despised_ chocolate.

Ripley heard running and again went to her door to investigate. There she saw one of the strangest scenes ever, one that would have been terrifying if it hadn't been so colorful. A woman and an alien, whom she would later find out were named Lex and Scar respectively, were chasing a xenomorph with green grid lines on its head, which she would later find out was named Grid. The funny thing, though, was the fact that Grid was covered in green and purple spots of paint because Lex and Scar were shooting him with paintball guns.

The three of them ignored Ripley as they ran into the stairwell.

Ripley blinked as the door to the stairwell swung shut. Then she burst into laughter as the scene registered in her mind, replaying itself in front of her eyes. She would never see xenomorphs the same way again. Later she would wonder just what had been going on. On a whim, she went up to the fourth floor to ask Sky about it.

I heard a knock on my door and opened it to see Ripley. "Hi. That was fast. Anything wrong?"

"Do you know about the, ah, xenomorph—" is as far as she got.

"So you've met them already? What were they doing this time?"

"This woman and another alien,"

"He's a yautja," I interrupted.

"This woman and a yautja were chasing him and shooting him with paintball guns."

I snorted in amusement. "What colors was the xenomorph?" I snickered, picturing Grid the day of the paintball fight.

"Purple and green."

That earned full on laughter on my part. Especially regarding the purple.

"I wonder what he did this time," I said when I had calmed down.

"This time?"

"Yeah. The three of them have been having some kind of prank war." I left my apartment and shut the door behind me. "Let's go see, shall we?"

Ripley followed Sky down to a room on the second floor at the other end of the hallway and watched as she knocked and the woman from before answered.

"Sky?"

"Hey, Lex. We came by wondering what Grid did to you this time."

Lex opened her door wider and stepped out of the way so they could see into her front room. There were Peeps everywhere, from the ceiling fan to the alien weapons on the wall that obviously belonged to Scar.

Ripley and Sky started snickering and Scar growled because he didn't find the scene funny at all. Colorful marshmallows did _not_ belong on his weapons.

* * *

Look! I finally got Ripley in there! I wonder what took me so long. 


	11. Grid's New Grid

LOOK!!! I updated finally! You're probably all mad at me for not paying any attention to this, but I was under attack. Plot-ghosts and plot-ottsels are no laughing matter.

On with the fic!

* * *

Ripley was down the hall in Lex's apartment (and temporarily Scar's, though that temporary was rather indefinite considering all that had happened to his apartment after its destruction was to have the door taped over with caution tape) and talking about Grid.

"So, why is Grid, Grid? I know it's because of his head, but what happened to it?"

Scar gave that odd, alien laugh of his and informed Lex. "One of my partners shot him with a net gun and it started cutting into his head, but the acidic blood melted a patch, allowing the xenomorph to escape."

"That was before we all came here, of course," Lex added, remembering how the three had all moved in at nearly the same time.

"Oh. Well..."

"What experience have you had with xenomorphs, then? It seems like you have seen them before."

"I've definitely seen them before." Ripley's tone darkened noticeably, and Scar recognized it (for once, because he can't distinguish or recognize the meanings of the different tones of human voices very well) as the tone one would use when speaking of an enemy. "Nearly died at least a dozen different ways because of them. I did die twice, kinda. A face-hugger got me and the obvious happened. And then I jumped into a smelting pot that was full at the time."

"If you died, then why are you here?" Lex had good reason to be puzzled.

Scar, having had his own experience with death, stayed silent.

"Scientists—those white-coat bastards—resurrected me somehow to get at the xenomorph queen embryo from the face-hugger."

"A queen!?" Scar was stunned.

"Yeah. I fought one and killed her, but she had a queen egg that somehow ended up on my escape pod."

"You killed a queen!?" It was Lex's turn to be stunned. They had all participated in killing a queen, but Lex had thought her situation somewhat unique.

"We all have that in common, then," Scar spoke. "When I came to this planet, Lex and I worked together to kill a queen."

"I just had an idea!" Lex jumped up suddenly, startling both Scar and Ripley though neither gave evidence of it.

"What?" they both asked suspiciously.

"Let's redraw Grid's grid!"

There was silence, an then another simultaneous, "What?" from Scar and Ripley, though this time is was out of lack of understanding and not curiosity.

* * *

Lex handed each of the two ex-xenomorph hunters (she was more incidental since she hadn't intentionally hunted them before and wasn't sure she could call herself a hunter even if she had the Warrior Blood Mark) a bright green paint marker as the trio crouched conspiratorially in Grid's spotless kitchen.

Grid was currently passed out on his beloved couch; a prime target.

"Ready?" Lex asked. All three of them made sure they were holding the sheet of paper that had their intended image on it. "Let's go."

For about an hour, the trio worked together to redraw the picture on the paper (helpfully gridded out already) onto Grid's head with the neon green markers specially selected to match to color of the scars. Then, finished, they crept out, having disturbed Grid not at all. Everyone waited in Lex's apartment for when Grid would wake up, which happened a few hours later.

* * *

Ripley, Lex, and Scar were all playing a video game and racing each other when the knock came. Ripley and Scar were really into it while Lex, who'd been infinitely pwned this time, watched the race-fighting from a safe distance.

If it had been less than an hour after leaving Grid's apartment, the trio would've expected him. Since it had been much longer than that, they weren't so sure. Also, the knock hadn't been loud, hard, or insistent, which is what they would have expected from an irritated xenomorph. As it was, they expected their upstairs neighbor was probably on the other side of the door.

Scar and Ripley glanced at Lex as she got up to answer the door. She opened it, half-surprised to find Grid on the other side. The drawing on his head was intact.

"What is on my head?" he demanded with a hiss. (Having no eyes to see for himself, he had no idea, but he could smell the marker ink, so he knew something was there.)

Scar and Ripley came to attention from their seats on the couch and looked.

"A monkey?" Lex said, as if she didn't recognize what she'd drawn.

"Holding a banana," Ripley elaborated, describing the rest of the image.

In all truth, it was a (relatively) small monkey hugging a (relatively) large banana. The banana was painted across Grid's entire head, since the fruit naturally resembled the shape. The monkey, drawn with a rather cartoonish style, was actually on the section of Grid's head that bore his namesake.

"A monkey and banana are drawn on my head."

"Yeah."

"Why?"

Silence.

"Drawn with what?"

"Markers."

"What kind of markers?"

"The regular kind."

"Then why can't I remove the marks?"

Silence. Lex retrieved the bag of partially spent markers and withdrew one to inspect its label carefully. On the side, in bolded letters, it said, **CAUTION: PERMANENT AVOID USE ON SKIN, FACE, OR DELICATE . . .** She hadn't noticed that before. "Uh..." The infamous awkward silence manifested.

"That had better not be a permanent marker you're holding, Lex," Grid hissed, louder than before.

Scar left his seat on the couch and came up behind Lex to see the marker label.

"It is."

"Really." The xenomorph was not amused.

* * *

Two floors above, Sky suddenly looked up from her computer screen. Or, more accurately, down, because that's where the loud noises were coming from. There was an assortment of crashes, bangs, and muted roars.

"Another prank," she sighed as she turned her attention back to her computer. She managed to mostly ignore the sounds of battle from below, but she would twitch every time an especially loud noise exploded up the halls.

* * *

A while later, Grid was back in his apartment, on his couch, with his head missing the sheen that the rest of his body had. The grid lines on his head were also oozing slightly, though the xenomorph was careful to not allow any harm to come to his couch from the acid.

That's what happens when you use somewhat corrosive industrial cleaner and steel wool to remove permanent marker. The banana and monkey were gone, anyway, and Grid was recovering from the effects of the fumes of the cleaner.

* * *

"Lex," Ripley said gently while Scar cleaned his awu'asa in the background, "as fun as drawing on the alien is, perhaps you should check to see whether the markers are permanent or not nest time."

"Yeah, that would probably be a good idea..."

* * *

Review! Please review. Please, Please, PLEASE review!!!


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